i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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