I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
