I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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