i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
