the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
soo... how was my night?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
