no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
