If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
