i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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