Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
