I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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