don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
