What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
