he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
