And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
