Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
dude. I can hear the air.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
