bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just cut my nipple shaving
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
