dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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