their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
