I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
