maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
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