4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
