I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
