i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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