and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
