You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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