Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
