i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
