I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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