I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
