Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish you could order shots online.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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