So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
