who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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