oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
