there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There's always time for handjobs
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
