ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
