oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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