Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
