If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
