Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
