But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
