she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
