I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
