can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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