Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
