last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
