at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Small penises have feelings too.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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