he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
