Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
