Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
