Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
