Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
