i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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