My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
