Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
