Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
